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[theme music]
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So from what we've learned,
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prehistoric women spend an average
of 20 hours a week on housework.
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Really?
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My mom spends twice that time
cleaning our house.
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Conclusions?
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Either my mom's neurotic,
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or my dad's a bigger
slob than Fred Flintstone.
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Quite possibly.
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But it also tells us that
modern conveniences
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don't always make
our lives easier.
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For instance, it's
two million years ago,
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and
you're a cave wife.
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You only have one
major appliance.
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And what do you think
that would be?
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Mr. Morris?
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Here.
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That's debatable.
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Mr. Powers, what would that
prehistoric appliance be?
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A rock.
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Ahh, he's right.
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It slices, it dices,
it Juliennes fries.
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A state of the art
meat tenderizer,
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home security system,
and the original Thigh Master.
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Hey, you better start paying
attention, Zack.
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I am. I've just got an
English test next period.
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I'm listening to "War and
Peace" as read by Joey Lawrence.
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Now, by the end
of the Bronze Age,
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humans had all
kinds of appliances.
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Who can name some?
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Mr. Morris?
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Here.
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Zack, I get the feeling you're
not paying attention.
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What?
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(ANGRILY) I said you're
not paying attention!
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Oh sure I am.
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I'm even taking notes.
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Oh, really.
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Please, read them back to me.
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Hey!
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I think Professor Lasky has
the cutest little nose.
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Why, thank you.
My mother seems to think so.
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See me in my office
this afternoon.
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Should have never told
him I was here.
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♪ I'm standing
at the edge of tomorrow, ♪
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♪ and it's all up to
me how far I go ♪
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♪ I'm standing at the
edge of tomorrow ♪
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♪ I've never seen
such a view before, ♪
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♪ a new world before my eyes ♪
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♪ So much for me to explore ♪
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♪ It's where my future lies ♪
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♪ Today, I'm standing at
the edge of tomorrow ♪
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♪ From here, the future
looks bright for me ♪
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♪ And it's all up to
me how far I go ♪
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♪ It's my time to break away ♪
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♪ I'm standing at the edge
of tomorrow today ♪
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Zack, this is college,
not high school.
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Nobody's going to
make you learn.
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I know.
And you're right.
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It's just that, as one
friend to another--
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Friend?
Excuse me, Zack.
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I like you.
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But you have to remember
that you are my student,
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and I'm your professor.
[phone ringing]
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I'm a doctor of anthropology,
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and you have to respect the
dignity of that position.
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Yes?
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Security's about to tow away
my brand new scooter.
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I'll be right back.
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Remember, I'm the professor.
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You're the student.
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I'm the professor.
You're the student.
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[knocking on door]
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Excuse me.
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This is Professor Lasky's
office, isn't it?
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Yes.
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Can I help you with anything,
anything at all?
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You?
I don't think so.
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I was hoping Professor Lasky
would autograph his book.
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Oh, oh, you must really like it.
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Like it?
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This is the most brilliant work
on Aborigines ever written.
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I would give anything
just to meet him,
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to listen to him, to touch him.
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You're looking at him.
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You mean, you're?
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Yes.
Yes, I am.
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Oh!
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Professor Lasky!
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I am so sorry.
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I'm Jennifer Williams.
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Hi.
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I had no idea.
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I mean, I heard that
you were youthful,
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but you look as
though you're barely--
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19?
Oh, oh, oh, no!
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Those were the days.
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I wish I could have enrolled
in one of your classes,
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but they were all full.
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Well, if you're that
interested in anthropology,
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we could discuss it over dinner.
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Really?
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Oh, that would be incredible,
Professor Lasky.
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Great. Well, how about
8 o'clock at Mario's?
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I'll be there.
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Don't you see, girls, if we buy a
big screen TV for the rec room,
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it'll benefit us all.
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Alex, you could watch your
favorite movies on it.
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That's true.
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The other day I was watching
"Big" on my little TV.
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And when Tom Hanks got big,
he was still little.
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Whatever.
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And of course, you'd get to
watch all your football games.
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Well, only on Thursday, Friday,
Saturday, Sunday, and Monday,
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but you guys could watch
whatever you wanted to in July.
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We won't be watching anything
unless we come up with $2,000.
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I've already thought of that.
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The Sweetco candy company says
they'll give us $0.10 for
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every bar of Choco Chews
candy we sell.
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We tried selling
candy in high school
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to raise money for
cheerleading equipment.
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We wound up with one pom pom
and 10 fat cheerleaders.
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You guys got a better idea?
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Yeah. What if we
sold a pinup calendar?
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That is so sexist!
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Yeah, girls posing in bikinis
like pieces of meat?
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I meant a male pinup calendar.
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Oh, that is a good idea.
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Whoa, whoa, whoa,
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no real man is going to
pose in some skimpy outfit
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so a bunch of women
can stare at him.
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I'll do it.
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Fine.
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You guys do your beefcake
calendar, and I'll sell candy.
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And we'll see what college
girls want most --
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scantily clad men
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or delicious chocolate treats
with a nutty zesty crunch?
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Well, I don't want
any part of this.
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It's just like "Playboy."
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You're promoting a
superficial image of beauty,
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and anybody that doesn't
live up to it is left out.
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Well, that's not true!
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I mean, the men
of Cal U calendar
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will be open to all
guys on campus.
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Hello, girls.
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Well, why don't you ask Screech?
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He's a man of Cal U.
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Ask me what?
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The girls are doing
a pin up calendar,
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and they want you to
pose for it.
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Right, girls?
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Well--
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Wow, that's so cute.
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You guys were too
embarrassed to ask me.
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Something like that.
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Don't worry, because I've
been pumping up my pecs,
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and my mom just sent
me a new pair of Speedos.
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You got to tell her
you're not Lasky.
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But she's crazy about me.
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You're the one who's crazy.
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You're going to get expelled.
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Come on, Slater.
The girl is gorgeous.
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Zack, no girl is worth getting
kicked out of college.
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Hi, Jeremiah.
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Don't forget to write.
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I loved that
documentary last night.
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I never realized how fascinating
fossilized cow dung could be.
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Yes, yes.
I had a lot of laughs, too.
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I usually don't date
girls your age.
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They're so immature.
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It's that whole MTV
generation thing.
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Oh, I know, which is
exactly what I prefer going out
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with a sophisticated older man.
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00:07:29,115 --> 00:07:33,119
Hey, hey that fake vomit you
put in Roger's room really worked.
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One of my students, he spent
a year among the Zulus.
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We're not sure what
they did to him.
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Professor Lasky, is there
anything I get you?
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Coffee?
Tea?
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Truth serum?
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Jennifer, I feel
really close to you,
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and I feel that I can
tell you anything.
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Good, because I haven't been
entirely honest with you.
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- You haven't?
- No.
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I try to keep it quiet,
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because people tend
to treat me differently
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when they find out that I'm
the chancellor's daughter.
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You mean your father is the
head of this whole university?
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But I hope this won't affect
our relationship.
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No.
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No. You're still
you, and I'm still--
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the Nutty Professor.
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So I'm telling you, Slater,
all I gotta do is avoid her,
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and I'm sure Jennifer is
going to get the idea.
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And she's going to
forget about me.
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I don't think that's going
to work, Professor Lasky.
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Eat this.
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Oh, a jelly doughnut,
my favorite.
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How dare you eat a doughnut
in my classroom, young man!
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Boy, you talk about mood swings.
200
00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:02,375
How many of these things
did you eat?
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That's the girl who
thinks I'm Lasky.
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00:09:05,145 --> 00:09:06,613
Just play along.
203
00:09:07,814 --> 00:09:11,084
Jennifer, hi, I didn't
even see you.
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00:09:11,217 --> 00:09:14,387
Listen, I'm just about to
start my classes, so--
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00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:16,656
I'm just dying to see
you in action.
206
00:09:16,756 --> 00:09:19,793
Oh, well, I'm afraid no one is
allowed to audit my classes.
207
00:09:19,926 --> 00:09:22,128
Oh, I'm sorry.
I'll go then.
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00:09:22,228 --> 00:09:24,064
OK, and I'll show
you the way out.
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00:09:25,198 --> 00:09:27,467
Good morning, Professor Lasky.
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00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:29,235
Yes, yes, good morning,
doughnut boy.
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00:09:29,970 --> 00:09:32,205
Could you help me with an
anthropology problem,
212
00:09:32,305 --> 00:09:34,307
Professor Lasky?
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00:09:35,208 --> 00:09:36,409
In a minute.
214
00:09:36,943 --> 00:09:40,313
Did I mention that Professor
Lasky here is so patient
215
00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:41,881
and kind and sweet and generous?
216
00:09:41,982 --> 00:09:44,084
Stick a sock in it, Screech.
217
00:09:44,384 --> 00:09:48,021
Professor Lasky, you're a
mean and bitter old man.
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00:09:48,455 --> 00:09:50,924
- Good morning.
- Morning, Professor Lasky.
219
00:09:51,024 --> 00:09:52,525
- Good morning.
- Morning.
220
00:09:52,625 --> 00:09:53,860
Good morning to you, too.
221
00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:55,128
- Good morning.
- Morning.
222
00:09:55,228 --> 00:09:56,863
- Morning.
- Morning.
223
00:09:58,465 --> 00:10:00,467
Listen, Jennifer, I'll
give you a call later.
224
00:10:00,567 --> 00:10:02,402
Make it quick.
I want to start class.
225
00:10:02,669 --> 00:10:05,405
My older students --
so eager to learn.
226
00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:11,644
Hello, sir.
227
00:10:11,745 --> 00:10:13,580
I'm selling Choco
Chews Candy Bar,
228
00:10:13,680 --> 00:10:16,549
the delicious chocolate treat
with a nutty, zesty crunch.
229
00:10:16,649 --> 00:10:19,085
No, thanks.
I'm allergic to chocolate.
230
00:10:19,352 --> 00:10:20,854
So get a shot.
231
00:10:22,856 --> 00:10:24,657
I'll take six--
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00:10:25,658 --> 00:10:27,027
teen.
233
00:10:27,327 --> 00:10:28,862
We appreciate your business.
234
00:10:28,962 --> 00:10:33,166
Now, please enjoy this fine
snack food product from Sweetco.
235
00:10:33,733 --> 00:10:36,036
That's good.
Thanks.
236
00:10:36,136 --> 00:10:37,771
Hey you, come here.
237
00:10:39,205 --> 00:10:41,841
I can't believe you guys are
actually going through with this
238
00:10:41,941 --> 00:10:44,444
disgraceful
exercise in bad taste.
239
00:10:44,544 --> 00:10:45,879
Hey, girls.
240
00:10:46,846 --> 00:10:49,149
He's going to take off
that jacket, right?
241
00:10:50,016 --> 00:10:53,853
Leslie, why is it you always show
up to tell us how disgraceful we are
242
00:10:53,920 --> 00:10:55,989
just when we're about to
shoot a hunk in a tank top?
243
00:10:56,089 --> 00:10:59,526
Hey, I had no idea you were going
to be in the top of the bell tower.
244
00:10:59,626 --> 00:11:03,163
I just happened to be there
because I like to--
245
00:11:03,430 --> 00:11:04,697
spit.
246
00:11:06,366 --> 00:11:07,967
OK, I'm ready, guys.
247
00:11:08,068 --> 00:11:09,235
Where do you want me to stand?
248
00:11:09,335 --> 00:11:11,438
Well, we thought we'd get a
few shots of you playing pool.
249
00:11:11,538 --> 00:11:12,772
Sounds good.
250
00:11:12,872 --> 00:11:15,842
Play a little pool, be admired
by hundreds of girls --
251
00:11:15,942 --> 00:11:18,078
ho, hum, just another day.
252
00:11:18,578 --> 00:11:22,282
OK, A.C., babe, I want
you to relax, have fun with it,
253
00:11:22,382 --> 00:11:23,550
and don't be nervous.
254
00:11:23,650 --> 00:11:25,085
Makeup!
255
00:11:28,555 --> 00:11:29,622
(SURPRISED) Whoa!
256
00:11:29,722 --> 00:11:31,724
I'm not wearing makeup.
257
00:11:31,825 --> 00:11:33,760
Look, it's just to take the
shine off your face.
258
00:11:33,860 --> 00:11:35,095
Everybody does it.
259
00:11:35,195 --> 00:11:37,263
Arnold Schwarzenegger does it.
260
00:11:38,465 --> 00:11:40,066
OK, if Arnold does it.
261
00:11:40,300 --> 00:11:42,602
Just take off your jacket.
262
00:11:44,637 --> 00:11:45,872
[camera shooting]
263
00:11:45,972 --> 00:11:47,307
Oh, yes.
264
00:11:49,242 --> 00:11:51,644
You're beautiful.
You're now.
265
00:11:51,744 --> 00:11:54,013
You're here.
You're today.
266
00:11:54,214 --> 00:11:55,915
You are happening.
267
00:11:57,619 --> 00:11:58,953
Wait a minute, you're
not happening.
268
00:11:59,053 --> 00:12:00,348
Why aren't you happening?
269
00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:02,188
Because I feel weird.
270
00:12:02,288 --> 00:12:05,091
I mean, look, everybody's
staring at me.
271
00:12:05,358 --> 00:12:07,026
You think everybody's
staring at you now?
272
00:12:07,127 --> 00:12:08,695
Wait till you take
your shirt off!
273
00:12:08,795 --> 00:12:10,930
I'm supposed to play pool
with my shirt off?
274
00:12:11,030 --> 00:12:13,233
Yes, pool is a very sweaty game.
275
00:12:13,333 --> 00:12:15,401
Work with me, work with me.
276
00:12:16,002 --> 00:12:18,605
This is demeaning.
I'm leaving--
277
00:12:22,542 --> 00:12:24,210
in an hour.
278
00:12:24,878 --> 00:12:26,446
[bike horn honking]
279
00:12:26,646 --> 00:12:27,914
Ah,
280
00:12:30,984 --> 00:12:32,018
here you are.
281
00:12:32,118 --> 00:12:34,020
You girls forgot to tell
me where the shoot was.
282
00:12:34,087 --> 00:12:35,822
I figured I'd pose on my bike.
283
00:12:35,922 --> 00:12:38,725
Yeah, Screech on a Schwinn.
284
00:12:38,791 --> 00:12:40,727
Hey, girls, that sounds
sexy to me.
285
00:12:42,662 --> 00:12:43,897
Thanks, professor,
286
00:12:43,997 --> 00:12:47,400
and please enjoy this fine
snack food product from Sweetco.
287
00:12:47,634 --> 00:12:49,135
Oh, I will.
288
00:12:49,969 --> 00:12:51,538
- What's up Mike?
- Hey, Zack.
289
00:12:51,771 --> 00:12:54,340
Zack, how would you like
a delicious chocolate treat
290
00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:56,309
with a nutty, zesty crunch?
291
00:12:56,676 --> 00:12:58,044
Pass.
292
00:12:59,045 --> 00:13:01,414
Listen, I know
you're my professor,
293
00:13:01,514 --> 00:13:03,349
but can I ask you
something personal?
294
00:13:03,983 --> 00:13:05,351
Yeah, sure.
295
00:13:05,552 --> 00:13:08,988
I've noticed that a lot of girls in
your class have a crush on you.
296
00:13:09,222 --> 00:13:12,091
And I was just wondering what
do you say to them?
297
00:13:12,325 --> 00:13:15,461
Well, I usually tell them
as much as I like you,
298
00:13:15,562 --> 00:13:17,931
it's unethical for a
professor to date a student.
299
00:13:18,031 --> 00:13:20,867
You see, your father has very
strict rules against it.
300
00:13:20,967 --> 00:13:23,136
In fact, it's grounds
for being fired.
301
00:13:23,369 --> 00:13:25,939
So I'm afraid we're not going to
be able to see each other anymore.
302
00:13:26,072 --> 00:13:27,607
I can't believe it.
303
00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:31,878
You're willing to give up what we
have together for your ethical beliefs!
304
00:13:32,278 --> 00:13:36,382
Well, I have to look at myself
every morning in the mirror and say,
305
00:13:36,916 --> 00:13:38,918
you've done the right
thing Professor Lasky.
306
00:13:39,118 --> 00:13:41,354
Well, I know what you must
be going through.
307
00:13:41,621 --> 00:13:43,489
That's why I'm going to daddy
first thing in the morning,
308
00:13:43,590 --> 00:13:45,525
and I'm telling him
that I am leaving Cal U
309
00:13:45,625 --> 00:13:47,193
so that you and
I can be together!
310
00:13:47,293 --> 00:13:48,628
Oh, no, you can't--
311
00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:56,169
I've got to get rid of this girl
tonight, or tomorrow morning,
312
00:13:56,236 --> 00:13:59,038
I'm going to go bungee
jumping without the bungee.
313
00:14:09,148 --> 00:14:10,950
So Jennifer, I uh,
314
00:14:11,050 --> 00:14:13,720
I hope you don't mind me
bringing along a student on our date.
315
00:14:13,820 --> 00:14:15,355
No, of course not.
316
00:14:15,455 --> 00:14:19,392
I think it's very noble that you want
to help lonely students adapt socially.
317
00:14:19,726 --> 00:14:21,594
Hey, I got the popcorn,
318
00:14:21,728 --> 00:14:24,197
so I better sit in the
middle, professor.
319
00:14:25,164 --> 00:14:26,933
OK, Screech.
Go into your nerd act.
320
00:14:27,033 --> 00:14:29,135
Right.
Popcorn?
321
00:14:29,936 --> 00:14:31,337
I'm sorry.
322
00:14:31,738 --> 00:14:33,973
Hang on. I'll go into
my nerd act in a minute.
323
00:14:34,073 --> 00:14:35,375
It's all right.
324
00:14:35,475 --> 00:14:37,210
Professor Lasky
explained that you need
325
00:14:37,310 --> 00:14:39,145
special attention
and understanding.
326
00:14:39,245 --> 00:14:40,446
He did?
327
00:14:40,580 --> 00:14:42,315
That was very nice of him.
328
00:14:42,415 --> 00:14:44,117
He's a wonderful man.
329
00:14:44,317 --> 00:14:45,685
He is, isn't he?
330
00:14:45,785 --> 00:14:47,687
You know, you're wonderful,
too, Jennifer.
331
00:14:47,820 --> 00:14:49,522
I hope you two never break up.
332
00:14:49,622 --> 00:14:51,491
Hang up to this one, buddy.
333
00:14:52,725 --> 00:14:55,828
Oh, um, I didn't mean
to intrude.
334
00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:57,096
I'll just be going.
335
00:14:57,196 --> 00:14:58,765
Oh, oh.
336
00:15:05,038 --> 00:15:06,973
It's time for plan B.
337
00:15:09,108 --> 00:15:10,176
Jeremiah!
338
00:15:10,276 --> 00:15:11,911
Jeremiah Lasky?
339
00:15:12,245 --> 00:15:13,546
There you are.
340
00:15:13,646 --> 00:15:17,583
I figured I'd find you in
some cheap night spot!
341
00:15:17,684 --> 00:15:19,252
Honey, who is this woman?
342
00:15:19,350 --> 00:15:20,251
Honey?
343
00:15:20,453 --> 00:15:22,155
So this is who you've
been catting around with
344
00:15:22,288 --> 00:15:24,490
while I've been home
slaving over a hot stove
345
00:15:24,590 --> 00:15:27,093
cooking dinner for
little Buffy and Muffy?
346
00:15:27,193 --> 00:15:28,928
What is she talking about?
347
00:15:29,062 --> 00:15:30,897
Beat it you homewrecker!
348
00:15:33,700 --> 00:15:35,268
(ANGRILY) You're married?
349
00:15:35,401 --> 00:15:36,469
Well--
350
00:15:36,602 --> 00:15:38,071
Yes he's married!
351
00:15:42,875 --> 00:15:45,645
Well, what did you think
of my performance?
352
00:15:45,878 --> 00:15:47,447
Very realistic.
353
00:15:48,815 --> 00:15:50,883
We better tell Kelly we
don't need her for plan C.
354
00:15:50,983 --> 00:15:52,051
Right.
355
00:15:52,251 --> 00:15:55,488
There you are, you, you rat!
356
00:16:01,394 --> 00:16:03,896
Are those pictures
of all your hunks?
357
00:16:04,097 --> 00:16:05,231
That's right.
358
00:16:05,331 --> 00:16:07,734
And I suppose you still
disapprove.
359
00:16:07,834 --> 00:16:10,103
I'm an open-minded person.
360
00:16:10,203 --> 00:16:13,172
I never pass judgment on
anything until I've seen it.
361
00:16:13,473 --> 00:16:15,341
So let me see it.
362
00:16:17,076 --> 00:16:20,646
So you girls thought that
selling candy was a silly idea.
363
00:16:20,747 --> 00:16:24,450
Well, I'll have you know
that I made $329.
364
00:16:24,684 --> 00:16:27,387
And I won a free trip
to summer camp.
365
00:16:28,388 --> 00:16:30,123
How much did you make?
366
00:16:30,590 --> 00:16:36,229
So far, $2,300
in advance sales.
367
00:16:36,629 --> 00:16:39,532
Looks like we've got
ourselves a big screen TV.
368
00:16:39,699 --> 00:16:42,135
Who's we, Candyman?
369
00:16:43,302 --> 00:16:47,507
Looks like I'm going to be watching
a lot of that Melrose 90210 thing.
370
00:16:51,577 --> 00:16:54,247
You're not really going to
use this picture, are you?
371
00:16:54,347 --> 00:16:55,581
This is so embarrassing.
372
00:16:55,681 --> 00:16:58,217
I look like one of
Madonna's dancers.
373
00:16:58,551 --> 00:17:00,520
Here, now this--
374
00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:02,355
this is a good picture, huh?
375
00:17:02,455 --> 00:17:03,656
Why don't you use this one?
376
00:17:03,756 --> 00:17:06,192
We can't use this. It's a
picture of you at Disneyland.
377
00:17:06,259 --> 00:17:08,094
Come on, you're hugging Goofy.
378
00:17:08,795 --> 00:17:12,098
Grow up, Slater. We're
playthings for millions of women.
379
00:17:12,165 --> 00:17:13,766
So get used to it.
380
00:17:14,100 --> 00:17:16,803
Hey, where's my picture?
381
00:17:17,904 --> 00:17:21,507
Actually, Screech, you're not
going to be in the calendar.
382
00:17:24,811 --> 00:17:26,179
I'm not?
383
00:17:27,814 --> 00:17:29,382
I guess I was kidding myself.
384
00:17:29,482 --> 00:17:31,984
I mean, me in a pinup calendar,
385
00:17:32,285 --> 00:17:34,854
not unless they invent
the month of Geekuary.
386
00:17:36,255 --> 00:17:37,857
I'm sorry, Screech.
387
00:17:40,059 --> 00:17:42,962
Take it from me, Screech,
you're not missing much.
388
00:17:43,162 --> 00:17:44,931
It's like I'm a piece of meat.
389
00:17:45,131 --> 00:17:46,566
At least you're prime rib.
390
00:17:46,666 --> 00:17:48,668
I'm pimento loaf.
391
00:17:49,836 --> 00:17:51,904
If only I had a body like yours.
392
00:17:52,004 --> 00:17:53,406
It could be worse.
393
00:17:53,506 --> 00:17:54,540
In a few weeks,
394
00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:56,809
I'm going to be ashamed to
show my face around campus.
395
00:17:56,909 --> 00:17:57,944
Wait.
396
00:17:58,044 --> 00:18:00,480
I have an idea I think will
make you both happy.
397
00:18:11,524 --> 00:18:13,426
[knocking]
Yeah?
398
00:18:13,726 --> 00:18:15,161
- Hey, professor.
- Hey, Zack.
399
00:18:15,261 --> 00:18:17,230
Just came by to drop
off your books.
400
00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:20,533
You know, the one on the Mayan
religious rituals is very interesting.
401
00:18:20,766 --> 00:18:22,802
- You read all those books?
- Sure did.
402
00:18:23,469 --> 00:18:26,038
Man, in the last few days,
you've become a new person.
403
00:18:26,272 --> 00:18:27,507
You don't know the half of it.
404
00:18:27,607 --> 00:18:29,141
[phone ringing]
405
00:18:30,743 --> 00:18:32,211
Professor Lasky.
406
00:18:32,645 --> 00:18:34,247
Yes, Chancellor Williams?
407
00:18:35,047 --> 00:18:36,115
What?
408
00:18:36,349 --> 00:18:37,416
Your daughter?
409
00:18:37,550 --> 00:18:39,886
Oh, he's about to hear
the other half now.
410
00:18:41,087 --> 00:18:42,722
She said I what?
411
00:18:43,289 --> 00:18:44,991
Muffy and Buffy?
412
00:18:46,459 --> 00:18:48,661
- I'll be right there.
- Sir, I better explain.
413
00:18:48,761 --> 00:18:50,363
I met the Chancellor's daughter.
414
00:18:50,429 --> 00:18:52,865
Of course, I didn't know she
was the Chancellor's daughter.
415
00:18:52,965 --> 00:18:55,701
And somehow she got the crazy
idea that I was you.
416
00:18:55,768 --> 00:18:58,371
And how did she get that idea?
417
00:18:58,905 --> 00:19:03,876
Well, I suspect it was when I
said, I'm Professor Lasky.
418
00:19:04,377 --> 00:19:07,213
But did I mention she
was gorgeous?
419
00:19:07,413 --> 00:19:09,715
Oh, well, I'm glad
she was gorgeous,
420
00:19:09,815 --> 00:19:11,817
because I'd hate for you
to ruin my career and my life
421
00:19:11,918 --> 00:19:14,387
over someone who is
(YELLING) just average!
422
00:19:15,288 --> 00:19:17,423
- I'm sorry, sir.
- That's not good enough!
423
00:19:18,057 --> 00:19:20,192
You wait here.
I'll deal with you later.
424
00:19:25,531 --> 00:19:28,834
Romantic relationships
between students and faculty
425
00:19:28,968 --> 00:19:31,571
are strictly forbidden,
Professor Lasky.
426
00:19:31,704 --> 00:19:33,306
I'm aware of that, sir.
427
00:19:33,439 --> 00:19:35,408
I assure you, I would never
date your daughter.
428
00:19:35,474 --> 00:19:37,009
Then who did?
429
00:19:38,544 --> 00:19:40,046
I couldn't say, sir.
430
00:19:40,346 --> 00:19:42,348
Ms. Hancock, send
in my daughter.
431
00:19:42,682 --> 00:19:45,117
Sir, you expect me to believe
that some mysterious stranger
432
00:19:45,217 --> 00:19:46,819
decided to impersonate you--
433
00:19:46,886 --> 00:19:48,254
please.
434
00:19:49,188 --> 00:19:53,292
Jennifer, is there something
you'd like to say to Professor Lasky?
435
00:19:53,392 --> 00:19:54,927
There certainly is.
436
00:19:55,895 --> 00:19:57,363
Where is he?
437
00:19:58,864 --> 00:20:00,633
I'm Professor Lasky.
438
00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:03,502
You're Professor Lasky?
439
00:20:03,603 --> 00:20:04,937
You mean he's not?
440
00:20:05,037 --> 00:20:08,441
Oh, this has clearly been
an unfortunate mistake.
441
00:20:08,608 --> 00:20:11,077
Allow me to apologize,
professor.
442
00:20:11,410 --> 00:20:14,113
Would you like a Choco
Chews bar?
443
00:20:14,947 --> 00:20:16,649
No thank you.
444
00:20:16,949 --> 00:20:19,218
If that'll be all, sir.
I'll be going.
445
00:20:19,652 --> 00:20:21,420
Excuse me. Chancellor Williams,
446
00:20:21,520 --> 00:20:23,155
Professor Lasky is
completely innocent.
447
00:20:23,222 --> 00:20:24,223
It was all my fault.
448
00:20:24,323 --> 00:20:26,258
- Zack, this isn't necessary.
- Let me finish.
449
00:20:26,459 --> 00:20:29,128
You see, sir, I pretended
to be a Professor Lasky
450
00:20:29,228 --> 00:20:31,364
because I wanted to
impress your daughter.
451
00:20:31,697 --> 00:20:34,934
I'm sorry, sir, and Jennifer,
I'm sorry.
452
00:20:35,034 --> 00:20:36,235
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
453
00:20:36,335 --> 00:20:39,372
So you're the Jeremiah Lasky?
454
00:20:39,780 --> 00:20:43,075
Professor, I assure you this
student will be published to
455
00:20:43,175 --> 00:20:44,977
the fullest extent of my powers.
456
00:20:45,077 --> 00:20:46,712
And if there's anything I
could do to make this--
457
00:20:46,812 --> 00:20:48,080
Actually there is.
458
00:20:48,147 --> 00:20:49,448
Don't expel him.
459
00:20:49,548 --> 00:20:51,283
He's my student.
Let me handle it.
460
00:20:51,384 --> 00:20:53,552
Well, if you're sure.
461
00:20:53,986 --> 00:20:55,388
I suppose that's acceptable.
462
00:20:55,488 --> 00:20:57,590
Did I mention that
I loved your book?
463
00:20:57,690 --> 00:20:59,258
Do you have time for
a cappuccino?
464
00:20:59,358 --> 00:21:00,826
Let's go, honey.
465
00:21:00,926 --> 00:21:04,530
I want to show you some slides
of Oklahoma College for Women.
466
00:21:07,266 --> 00:21:09,635
Listen, professor, thanks
for saving my butt.
467
00:21:09,735 --> 00:21:11,137
I mean, you're a real--
468
00:21:12,038 --> 00:21:13,706
I was going to say friend.
469
00:21:14,907 --> 00:21:16,142
Friend is OK.
470
00:21:17,076 --> 00:21:19,879
But I'm still your teacher, and
you're still in trouble.
471
00:21:19,979 --> 00:21:21,180
I know.
472
00:21:21,447 --> 00:21:23,115
So what are you going
to make me do, huh?
473
00:21:23,215 --> 00:21:24,483
An extra assignment?
474
00:21:26,252 --> 00:21:27,887
More like community service.
475
00:21:27,987 --> 00:21:29,755
A friend of mine runs
a retirement home.
476
00:21:29,855 --> 00:21:32,925
And they always need an extra
man for square dancing.
477
00:21:33,759 --> 00:21:35,227
I was supposed to do it,
478
00:21:35,294 --> 00:21:37,296
but since you're so darn
good at impersonating me,
479
00:21:37,396 --> 00:21:38,964
why don't you do it
480
00:21:39,365 --> 00:21:41,233
for the next six months?
481
00:21:42,501 --> 00:21:43,569
Yes, sir.
482
00:21:43,636 --> 00:21:45,871
Oh, and watch out
for Mrs. Gordon.
483
00:21:46,138 --> 00:21:47,606
She pinches.
484
00:21:50,142 --> 00:21:51,577
[knocking]
485
00:21:52,044 --> 00:21:53,245
Excuse me.
486
00:21:53,345 --> 00:21:55,581
I'm looking for
Chancellor Williams.
487
00:22:01,954 --> 00:22:03,289
Nah.
488
00:22:05,491 --> 00:22:07,059
You're beautiful.
489
00:22:07,326 --> 00:22:09,195
You're now.
You're today.
490
00:22:09,261 --> 00:22:10,329
You're free.
491
00:22:10,496 --> 00:22:11,731
You're happening.
492
00:22:11,831 --> 00:22:14,867
Wow, I feel like Fabio.
493
00:22:16,035 --> 00:22:17,369
You're married?
494
00:22:17,504 --> 00:22:18,705
Well--
495
00:22:19,438 --> 00:22:21,073
Yes, he's married.
496
00:22:23,576 --> 00:22:25,077
You rat!